Haunted Heart
by canadianbabydoll
Summary: After a letter arrives unexpectedly from Jeff, can Adam and Chris continue their relationship, or will a haunted heart get in the way? (slash)
1. Default Chapter

_**Four months after Chris and Adam are happily back together, a simple letter arrives and could change everything:**_

The letter arrived yesterday. So far I had been afraid to open it. Jeff and I hadn't spoken in a year. What could he possibly have to say to me that required a letter? Glancing into the hallway, I deduced that Chris was still downstairs on the phone. Man that guy loved to talk on the phone! Poor Matt, he'd never get out to dinner with Shannon at this rate! Sighing, I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper. Unfolding it I found Jeff's scrawl across the page and two simple sentences:

Happy Anniversary, Baby. I still love you.

Tucking the paper back in the envelope, my eyes fill with angry tears. What right did he have, to remind me of what would have been our anniversary? The little… I'd wring his neck. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Wiping the tears from my eyes, I moved to toss the letter in the trash, but stopped myself. Instead, I tucked it inside me sock drawer, next to other birthday cards, Christmas cards and love notes from friends and family that I, being the big sook that I am, just couldn't bear to throw away. I don't know why I did that, I just felt that it was important for some reason. Jeff and I had bee split for more than a year, and Chris and I had been happily together for 4 months. We even lived together in an apartment in Florida.

I could hear Chris coming down the hall now, still gabbing on the portable. Whipping my eyes again I take a breath and smile at him when he comes through the door. Covering the receiver, Chris sighs. "You almost ready to eat? That is if I can get Matt to shut up."

"Yep. You know, Chris, if you say bye bye I bet he'd say it back." Glaring at me, Chris ends the conversation, none too quickly for my liking, and probably Matt's. Turning back to me, Chris sighs and smiles.

"Now, Baby, what would you like for dinner? Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?" Chris sits next to me, seeing the mist in my eyes. I knew I could never hide my discomfort from him, damn it! Chris puts an arm around my shoulders, concern on his pretty face.

"Nothing, honey, just looking over my mail and stuff and I came across and old letter from… my nana." I covered quickly, using the death of my grandmother, two years ago, as an excuse for my mood. Hopefully Chris would buy it.

"Oh. Well, here, baby, lets go get something to eat and you'll forget all about nana." Leading me downstairs and out to the car, I let Chris drive downtown to Pizza Hut and mutely follow him inside. We order and Chris starts jabbering on about something Matt had said that he thought was funny. Sadly, I didn't follow much of what he was saying. All I could think about was that damn letter. Oh, why did he have to send me that letter? I had the urge to call Matt and see if he had been speaking to Jeff. But that would have to wait, at least until tonight.


	2. Part 2

**_Later that Same Night…_**

Ring!… Ring!... Ri – "Hello?"

"Hey, Matt. Its me, how are you, I am good."

"Adam? What's wrong?" Matt sounded worried. Duh, why wouldn't he? Look at what I had just opened with. I took a breath and tried to clear my head. There was no reason to be upset; I was just going to nonchalantly ask Matt if he'd been speaking to his brother.

"Matt I… I got a letter. From Jeff." Silence on the other end. I could almost hear Matt's jaw drop.

"From Jeff. A letter… hmmm. Oh. This was your anniversary wasn't it?" Matt paused, and I could hear him talking to Shannon, telling him nothing was wrong. I closed my eyes and waited for Matt to come back. "What did it say?" His voice was high and a little squeaky; a sure sign that Matt had already decided this was a bad thing.

"Happy Anniversary Baby. I still love you." My voice was small and flat, the words I pronounced making me uneasy and sick and scared and a little lonely. And… perhaps… a little bit wondering if this was the chance to get it all back again? No, I was with Chris now. This was just a … a little problem to be shoved back into my subconscious, to be forgotten about. Right?

I listened to the stunned silence on the other line, waiting, silently pleading for Matt to confirm my decision that this was merely a little problem that could be easily forgotten about. Not even a real problem... just a dilemma. Yeah, a dilemma.

"Matt? Are you there?" Still with the squeaky scared voice. Great.

"Yeah, man, I'm still here. Ok. So." I hear Matt take a deep breath, knew that his mind was processing the information, forming an opionion. All at once I got it. "Happy Anniversay! I STILL love you! What the f#? I'm gonna kill him!" Matt screamed at me through the phone. "What right does he have? Really, I mean, think Adam, it is over between you, so THERE IS NO MORE ANNIVERSARY!"

"Yeah, I know! Don't scream at me, I need to know what to do!" My voice was shakier, on the verge of a crop of tears I had been holding in since dinner. Matt sighed and I could almost feel the air around him change.

"Listen. Ok, Adam. You love Chris?" I nodded. "Adam?"

"Oh! Yes, I love Chris. With all my heart." I declared, not sounding that sure of myself.

"Then, that's all there is. Chris. Not Jeff. Just pretend you never got the letter. Throw it away and go upstairs and make love to Chris and forget about Jeff. If you don't, Adam, if you dwell on this, no good will come from it. And I will deal with little Jeffrey."

The last sentence was cold and angry. Matt would deal with Jeff. That might not be that good for Jeff… I thought, ready to defend him. And then Matt's anger seemed to take hold of me and I stood up from the edge of the couch where I had been nervously perched.

"OK! You are right, Jeff is nothing anymore. I am going to go show Chris how I feel about him, and that is the end of it. The letter is gone now." I tossed the letter into the trash and smiled to myself. "Thank you."

"No problem. Go enjoy yourself. And I will see you on RAW ok? Tell Chris I say hello. And Adam? Be strong." I nodded as I hung up the phone. I smiled to myself and was on my way in search of Chris when I passed by the trash. I stopped. I reached in and took the letter, smoothing it out. I placed it back in the envelope and tucked it under the couch cushion. And started to cry.


	3. Part 3

**In the middle of the night, Adam tells all…**

I woke some time later to Chris, lightly shaking me. I must've fallen asleep on the couch! I think, struggling to focus on what Chris is saying. I look at the mantel clock. I'd been sleeping for four hours! No wonder Chris came to find me. I smile at him drowsily, and all at once my smile disappears when I remember why I am on the couch. That damn letter.

"Adam, Baby, are you ok? I went to bed hours ago, you'd said you'd be right along, and just woke up a minute ago and came here and found you… clutching this. Is this the letter from Nana?" Poor naïve Chris! He still believed my stupid cover-up from before. I could go along again now and avoid what was sure to be an ugly scene… no. I know I can't. "Adam? What are you thinking? What are you hiding from me?" Chris's words are quiet and filled with concern and a little hurt. My heart starts to pound.

"Chris, the reason I am down here… that is the letter… it's not Nana. Chris, its Jeff. The letter is from Jeff, and I was afraid to tell you, and sad and a little unsure how I felt. This is – was – our anniversary." I look down at the floor, to where Chris's bare feet are resting next to my own. I wait for the blow to come.

Silence. I glance up at Chris, his eyes are staring, trying to burn the letter he's holding in his hands. He rips it from its envelope, tearing a corner in the process. Quietly, he reads and rereads the words.

"So, this is what upset you before dinner? Why didn't you tell me then? Did you think I'd be mad? That I'd hurt Jeff? Did you think I'd be hurt? Why did you lie?"

I open my mouth to answer but Chris cuts me off.

"Did you not tell me because you still love Jeff? Do you want him back Adam? Because here is your big chance. So take your pick. Here. Tonight! I am going to bed, and when you decide, you tell me!"

Chris crumples the letter, flinging it into my lap. He runs up the stairs and I can hear our bedroom door slam shut, flinching at the angry noise. It only takes a minute for my mind to clear, to come to the decision I should've already known when I got the letter. I walk slowly upstairs, creeping along the hall. Chris is in bed, the covers drawn up high around his neck, despite the warm temperature of the night.

I walk over to the bed, getting slowly undressed, trying not to wake Chris. I know he is asleep and not just acting. Chris is one of those lucky people, that when they have problems, they just go to sleep, no sitting around feeling sorry for themselves trying to find a solution. They just go to sleep and let their unconscious mind work through what ever it is.

I, on the other hand am not that lucky. I know that if I do not fix this tonight, I may never have another chance. Chris and I already split once, and found each other again. But can you do that a second time? I wasn't sure, and so, I lowered myself under the sheets, moving up behind Chris, a frown disturbing his beautiful face.

Gently tugging the blankets down from his neck, I wrap and arm around him chest, drawing him to me. At first he resists, but then his body slowly seems to melt against mine, his arm coming around my own, his fingers entwine themselves with mine. I know I am forgiven for lying, for doubting this. And I know that in the morning, Chris will wake me with a soft kiss, as soft as the one I am even now placing on his now smooth forehead, and we will make love. As we are meant to.

**Fin.**


End file.
